Shame

Growing up, I often felt ashamed of things I had done. I think most people in religion feel shame. We are taught from early childhood that we are evil until we become children of God. The proverbial "child of wrath," if you will. As a child, I was taught that I was sinful and unworthy. My religion instilled in me that the only goodness or value within me came from God, who lived through me. If I submitted to this God, only then would I be found worthy. Even if I bow to God, there is still nothing good I can do on my own. This created a chasm of shame. Everything I did right was only because of God. Following that same logic, everything I did wrong was because of my selfish pride. This thinking infected everything I did as a child. This conditioned thinking still permeates my life today.

I was raised in a sub-culture of the eighties called "Purity Culture," where I was taught that sexual thoughts and actions toward sex were shameful. In essence, our bodies are not our own. 

A child's mind is very malleable. That is why religions place a strong emphasis on converting young people to faith early in life. Statistically, when the person reaches adulthood, the chance of conversion is much less. 

Why? 

I believe that it is because the person can think critically and decide for themself. If you are like me, raised in the church, our minds have difficulty breaking out of this programming. The tunnel of shame seems to be never-ending. For those who are trying to leave religion, this shame can be crippling. Shame is a virus that infects our worldview, relationships, thought life, and sexuality.

I found freedom by talking through this process with someone I trusted. Life coaching can help you find self-acceptance and become more comfortable. What are your shame areas? Are they hindering you from discovering your potential, freedom, goals? Together we can learn to recognize harmful thinking patterns and set goals to overcome this challenge. We often need someone that has journeyed through this process to help us see what we can become.