Triggered

Are we ever done deconstructing? Over this past month I have been reminded that deconstructing my faith is an on-going process. Just when I think I have everything solid and I have moved past some issues in my life, they pop back up again. I do not know why these things take me by surprise, but they always do. When this happens, I quickly remember the truth and allow those feelings to move through me, processing them once again.

The other day I was talking with a client. Our discussion touched on a church song lyric, which unintendedly sent me down this path of remembrance. I was stunned at the emotions and thoughts that suddenly surfaced. Hadn’t I already deconstructed this part of my life? Yes. Does that mean that everything stays in its nice little place after deconstructing it? No.

We will continue to process difficult memories throughout our lifetime. Each one of us may handle it differently, but here is how I chose to deal with this triggering moment.

I chose to take the following four steps:

  1. I allowed the emotions to be felt. Pushing down emotions never works; instead, it creates a pressure cooker that can blow at any moment. I try not to push those emotions back anymore but to feel them authentically and ask what this emotion can teach me.

  2. I reminded myself of my “Why.” Why did I take the steps I took? How was it the best choice for me? In this instance, I just sat in the reality of how happy I am in the present. I am happy now. This memory cannot hurt me.

  3. I allowed myself to focus on something uplifting after I had given this trigger moment it's time to resonate. 

  4. Since this specific trigger happened in the evening, I went to bed early. It sounds cliché but allowing my body and mind time to reset empowered me to wake up the next day and start over.

It is never easy when we have a triggering moment. This journey of healing from the spiritual, mental, emotional, and sometimes, physical abuse of religion takes time and a strong support system. If you do not currently have a strong support system, or just need someone to talk to, please do not walk through it alone. Reach out to me today.

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