Forgiveness

Do you forgive people? Should you forgive people all the time? This is a hot topic today. In many religions we are told that we should forgive everyone, including those who have hurt you. Should you forgive those who have hurt you? The church would say, yes. I would say no. Allow me to explain my thoughts.

For years, the church has used forgiveness as a tool to keep people silent and under control. How many times have they told someone who has been abused to forgive and forget? The guidance gives the appearance of protecting the victim but is more about protecting the reputation of the church and its leaders. They will tell you that if you do not forgive then the mission of the church will be hurt. All of this is very manipulative and keeps the victim muzzled. Even more, this grave injustice allows spiritual abuse to fester under a façade of silence. My deepest wish for you is self-healing and learning to exercise your voice. You do not need to allow anyone to bully you into forgiving and forgetting. Instead, kick them “outside your fence” and re-seize your power. It is time for you to treat yourself better than the way the church treats you. You are worth infinitely more!

Practical Tips

• Do not be silent. Share the wrongs done to you with a safe person.

• Remember: You are worth more than a system that hides abuse can offer you. Walk away.

• Continue to study the social construct of forgiveness. Is it a manipulation tool or does it have value? Do this without relying on religion to tell you the answer.