Losing and Finding

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever felt like people do not understand or value you?  Loneliness can emerge for a variety of reasons. I have felt this way at random times throughout my life, but never more so than in the last three years. Ironically, both being in and leaving the church amplified my feelings of aloneness.  I have dedicated over four decades of my life to Jesus, eventually becoming a pastor. I went to Christian high schools and colleges. I even earned my Master's degree from a Southern Baptist seminary. Then in one fell swoop, it was all gone. Since leaving the church, a total of three individuals from those churches still talk with me. Some members of my family have written me off, as bent on spending eternity in hell. The loneliness became suffocating. The worst part was that very few true friends ever reached out and asked why to try to understand. A few did-ones who I never trusted to begin with-but their motives were not to understand but to make me their project. 

The loss of community is painful and it takes time to heal from the loss. In some ways, I had to acknowledge my people-pleasing ways and rebuild myself as a person who trusted myself above the opinions of others. I had to embrace my own judgement, and find new ways to make life choices. Despite all, I am here to let you know that your heart does heal. New friends will enter your life who will love you for you. You will find freedom and acceptance. Let me be an encouragement to you and walk this journey with you. I am here to help.