B.O.X. of Authenticity

The other night I was spending time with friends. We discussed many things, but one of the topics was authenticity. Authenticity is an excellent catchword within churches. The claim that all are welcomed and to come as you are, and be real. Come and be your true self at church. 

The pastor on stage shares this message and parallels it to living an honest and truthful life. This concept sounds great in theory; however, the truth of the matter is that the church only desires authenticity within a specific framework. The church sets up this framework. Anything outside of this framework is frowned upon or needs to change. Too much honesty can lead to trauma within the church, causing many people to be burned. What they assumed was a safe environment becomes toxic. They quickly become part of the rumor mill, with private conversations offered up as prayer requests. 

Why is this? Because authenticity within the church opens you up to the spotlight of the BOX. 

B - Be Like Them

Authenticity is excellent as long as you are authentic in the right way.

O - Operate within the boundaries 

Authenticity is allowed as long as your truth falls within the boundaries of lifestyle and beliefs.

X - Xtreme Gaslighting

If you fall outside of these strict boundaries, then YOU are the one now marked as unsafe. This gaslighting makes the marginalized person feel like they are the problem instead of a toxic belief system.  

Where is your safe place? Do you feel like you can be authentic? Everyone needs friends that allow you to be the real you.